Welcome to my life.

Hi, my name is Brenden and I'm 16 years old and have a pretty eh life right now. My friends Triston, Tyler, Sabrina, and Kayla. I will be talking about things happening in my life and I plan to keep it as updated as possible when I free time. I also plan on being able to keep you guys updated as to how I am doing throughout the rest of my life. 

Final Post

Let's catch you up to speed on things, a lot of things, I'm currently 19 almost 20 years old, I've grown a lot through this blog and you can see it through the types of things I would post, I've been out of high school for about roughly 3 years now, and I can tell you that becoming an adult, learning about how to actually manage responsibilities and go through tough times in life, well it's tiring and I'm not entirely sure how to recover from it. I don't know if anyone actually even reads my blog and if anyone does well I am glad you are here, thank you for reading the idiotic things I have been posting and I hope some of it gave you a laugh and I hope some of it taught you some things. This blog was started in elementary school, it was an assignment we had to do in the 5th grade and I could say that it was a nice learning experience. Like I said though, I need to catch you guys up on a lot of things, and most of it is not so pretty. Just for the safety of these people's privacy, I won't be using their real names like I have done so in the past, I will be using fake names but anyone who knows me or is involved in my life will know the people I am referring to when I use these fake names.

Anyways shall I get started? It was senior year in high school and I was dating this girl name Katelyn, (like I said to protect privacy I won't be using real names) and she was a really cool girl. She was kinda a rebound of a girl I dated before her named Emma, Emma was a girl I like since middle school and the relationship, well it started because of sex. Anyways Emma and I broke up and I can say I was a little upset but I wasn't so upset over it that I got to the point where I am now, and that I will explain here shortly. Anyways Katelyn and I dated for about a year and I could say that it was fun and I did a lot of things I thought I would never experience in life and I'm glad she gave me those memories because I don't have anything against her and I wish her the best in life. Katelyn treated me well and she did everything right. Well, I was at work one day, and this is when I was still working at McDonald's, I was working the first window in the drive-through so I took orders and I took cash and sent them on their way to the second window, mind you, I was still with Katelyn. Anyways I received a message on the Facebook app "Messenger" and I opened it up and this is where it all began. The love of my life Brooke. She was beautiful in every way shape or form. She had a beautiful mind and I couldn't help but talk to her because she was astonishing. So this is where Brooke and I started and from that point on for two years we were together and I could say Brooke was the love of my life, she was everything to me. I told her I wanted to marry her several times and that she is the only woman I wanted to bear my children, I didn't want any other woman to be the mother of my children and at this point, I still don't but I don't want her to either anymore. She was everything I needed and wanted in life, she was my source of happiness and she was the person I went to about everything and I couldn't stop thinking about her once her and I split.

I broke it off with her because I thought it was the healthy decision for both of us, and in turn, it was for her and not for me. To this day I am still in love with her, I wish I wasn't I wish I could forget about her, I wish I could strip those memories away and move on but what she is doing to me now is unforgettable and unforgivable, she is with this guy Joseph. They went on a camping trip together just the two of them and they both knew how I was about the break-up, I couldn't let go of her and I still can't, I couldn't stop loving her and I still can't, but it seems as though she could very easily. There are many things I regret doing in life but the one thing I regret more than anything and would give up anything and everything to go back and change is the day I broke up with Brooke. I wish I never did, she was my soul mate. But I wasn't her's. Anyways, they started talking a lot when Brooke and I broke up and Joseph knew, he knew because I told him how I felt and the one thing I asked from Brooke was to not go after any of my friends, to not go behind my back and disrespect me in that way and I asked Joseph the same thing and I asked him specifically to not do that to me. They did it anyway obviously. Some things you can get over easily and some things become so implanted in your mind that you wish there was a way to cut it out of your brain physically and never remember their faces or who they are or what they've done to you so you can finally be happy again. There is only one solution and unfortunately I can't do that one thing, I would hurt too many people in the process but slowly I am coming to the point where I am telling myself that those people I hurt will be perfectly fine, they will eventually begin to forget the memories, they will eventually get better and be okay and I will be nothing but a distant memory.

I'm not sure if I will ever be posting on this blog again, but I thought I would catch all of you up on what has been going on lately and I hope that you guys have enjoyed all of the fun love and drama-filled posts I have made over the years to just kind of throw my thoughts out there and kind of give myself some kind of therapy. I just wish that things could have been different and that Brooke would have never done what she is doing to me. Thank you all again for the love of support for whoever has been here and continues to be here. This is my last post though. Thank you again.

Summer into Senior Year

              Where has the time gone man? I've been writing on this blog since I was ever using the internet by myself. I can't believe I'm going into my senior year and I'm still going to be dealing with bullshit people in my life. I haven't been able to keep up with the blog lately but things have been going OK, I recently started a job at McDonald's and it's not a bad start for a teenage kid. I enjoy the work place and I like the discounts I receive. But so many things have happened, and so much bad shit is going on now that I'm doing it involuntarily now. I have 2 bad addictions that won't be discussed due to reasons I will not explain. But I'm not the same happy little boy I used to be growing up? I used to enjoy everything in life, hell I even enjoyed the time when I was a depressed pre-teen. But shit does not get good for me at all man. The only thing going good for me is my family and what I own. I appreciate it all man everything I have and my whole family I appreciate but damn dude I hate who I am and I hate the way I am treated. Shit doesn't go right for me at all and no one realizes the shit they say or do effects me in different ways. Honestly sometimes I feel like I am writing this for my own pleasure considering I enjoy writing period. I don't even know what to talk about half the time I make these posts if you can't already tell you know what I mean? Fuck man you know the number one thing that pisses me off is that I'm not the person I want to be anymore. I was the person I want to be for a good whole year and all the shit people put me through just threw me back to my old ways. I don't give a fuck about anyone or how they feel anymore. I honestly could care less I only care for myself and it's saddening to say that even for myself but what can I say other than the truth to the people who even read this shit blog. But honestly fuck all of you who doubted me and told me I wasn't going to go places. And treated me like shit. I don't care about any of you anymore and if you were to hit me up I wouldn't respond like I usually did when I was being nice so that I could make new friends. Dealing with all of your bull shit just to make you happy and to think I would gain anything out of it was a fucking joke. Shit has been going downhill but I'm making myself better. I'm becoming a better person as I grow older and I hope things go well in the future for me.

Junior Year

So here we are... It's July 28, 2015 at 3:14am. I'm going to be a junior this year starting school. I've become addicted to marijuana. I've just been through a heart break. I mean I tried so hard for this girl. She was the one. And now she doesn't even talk to me. She like hates me. Hangs out with my best friend. I'm freaking dying. This depression is overwhelming and I'm just gonna soon end it. Especially because things aren't looking too great in the future.

I don't know what to title this.

  I am now in high school. I currently go to Smoky Hill High School. I am the biggest loner there is known to mankind. Pretty much no one likes me or wants to date me. I have been rejected like 4 or 5 times already and it's just weird. I have not been this single for this long. I really want is to be able to have someone that would actually love me and stay with me. Or maybe it's just my teenage brain thinking stupid like. I hate some of the things that happen with my life. I hate it so much it is just ridiculous. I thought I might as well just post on here considering you guys are probably getting angry with me for forgetting all the time to post on here. I guess I only really do it on my free time that I have. I guess you guys are the main support I have for me as family. Besides my family that is. I just guess you guys give me the support of actually reading my blog if you even do. 

  I try to be on here as much as I can. I have just been so focused on school lately and I just really forget to post on here sometimes. I was with Ashleigh and she was an amazing person and she just let it go to waste because she never actually cared about me. I just guess I don't know what to do anymore. I really cared for Ashleigh. I don't know why I focus on girls so much. I just guess I do. That's the reason the HTML to this website is called mybadlovelife.blogspot.com. Just think of it that way. I have been getting better with my typing considering I don't have to look at the keyboard while I type but I guess I never really have before. Well I will try to keep you more updated on things and sorry for not posting on here in a long time. Have a goodnight.

  

1,000!!!!!

I just hit 1,000 thousand page views!!!! Thank you so much everyone for reading my blog and helping me get to this mark! I gladly appreciate it! Please tell your friends or family about my blog and let's try to hit 100,000!!!! Laters, Skinnyguy1999

Relationships and fighting

Well some great news I might be getting back with Laurissa again. She is telling me how bad she feels for breaking up with me and how bad she wants me back and that she would do anything to get me back. She is even willing to break up with Mason just to get with me. So I guess I'll get back with her but I'll just end up feeling bad cause of Mason. But then again he misses Amber and Amber misses him so it's kinda a win, win situation for me. I get the girl I love back and my friend get's the girl he loves back. If she takes him that is cause I'm not sure but I think the last time they broke up he ended it. So she is really sad over it. I feel bad that she has gotten hurt all these times and I want to help but I'm not sure what I can do to help. I try to help as many people as I can but when I make one person happy another person get's hurt so it's basically just a cycle. I hate when that stuff happens because then I get blamed for everything and then my friends get all mad at me and want to fight me which I don't understand why they want to because I would just end up socking them and knocking them out. That reminds me, there's this one kid at my school, I swear I would knock him the hell out. I would make sure I beat him to an inch of his life because of how cool he thinks he is. And I'm sure if I fought someone and beat them to an inch of their life I wouldn't get people talking crap about me. I hope I fight someone cause I have all this anger built up from god knows when and I can't wait to release it into someone's face with my fist. I'm a very violent person because I know how to fight just no one has seen me get into a fight because I don't want to fight but if I have to just to prove myself then I will and that's what I've been doing all year is trying to piss certain kids off that I don't like and try and get them to hit me first so I can finish it. I don't like my school and that's why i can't wait to go to high school because I am doing football and when your with all the people in football. They consider you family and they will get your back through out high school and I think that is really cool because I do the same at school right now. I protect people I consider family. I just end up socking people I don't consider family. But ya I had a 3 day weekend and that was pretty cool because I got to play games and go to parties and have a great time. I have finals this week though when I go back to school. I don't like finals because that just means they are gonna be really hard and I might end up failing them because I'm not that intelligent and I don't think I'm gonna be able to go to high school if I don't pass these finals. Well that's my post for today cause I don't have much more to say. I'll let you know what happens between me and Laurissa and what happens between Mason and Amber. Laters, Skinnyguy1999

Kayla, judging, and some advice.

So here we are talking about Kayla. Been a while since I've posted on here. And to be honest this relationship sucks. I miss Mahelet. More than anything else in this world. She means a lot to me. Like trust me there are some moments that Kayla is actually with me when I need her but not much of the time. Mahelet has been there for me since day one. She loves me and to be honest. I love her too. I know that Kayla can see this but I'm taking a risk. It's the way I am. I don't like it but it is how it is. People judging. One thing I hate the most. Never have liked it. Never will. So if you are reading this and judge the way other people feel about a person or who they love. Just stop. How would you like it if someone made fun of you or judged you because you loved your parents? Don't say "I'd kick their a**" cause you wouldn't. You'd feel hurt and that you made a dumb decision when in reality. It was the best choice you ever made to date this person or to love this person. Plus if you threatened me like that, it wouldn't end so pretty for you. So just like be serious right now for a minute, and think of what you love and what your grateful for and who you have and what you have. When your finished reflect over your life. Think of all the good things you lost. All the great people you feel anguished over. Take somethings to heart. Let people be who they want to be. They want to be a drug dealer, let them. They want to be a nerd, let them. They want to be a bully, let them. It's life! It's something they can actually be good at! A skill that they can't get rid of. For me, basketball has been a great skill of mine. Never gonna change for anyone and for no reason what so ever. Football, another great skill of mine, I have the speed of a Wide Receiver. Baseball, I'm great at hitting and throwing. It's things that i'm good at that makes me who I am. The way I act. The way I live. The way I speak and the way I look. All make me who I am today. So why judge? Where has it ever gotten you? Why does it matter to be popular or not? It's friends so what you can have your family as your friends. You don't need other people. Your family is there for you everyday no matter what. So why rely on other people than your family? Try taking all of this to consideration. Try to think of who you can really truly be. Think of what makes you, you. Love who you love, dream what makes you dream, live the way you want. Be open. Live everyday as if it were your last. Don't let anyone else stand in the way of that. No one. Let your TRUE friends help you achieve your goal, let your family help you. Let the one you love help you. Kayla has helped me and I love her. Mahelet has helped me and I love her. Amber has helped me and I love her. Maddi has helped me and I love her. Laurissa has helped me and I love her. Emily has helped me and I love her. Family has helped me and I love them for that. Yea sure you think I'm spilling my heart out to you, you can think whatever you'd like to think. I'm just giving advice on how I try to live my life to the fullest and how I try to not let anyone stand in the way of me. Thanks for reading. Skinnyguy1999.

Done Caring!

As you all know... I'm worthless... I have no point in life... This f*****g sucks! I'm sick of being treated like dirt by a lot of people in my new school... I have only have 3 good friends. Maddi, Kyle, and Triston... It seems to me that Maddi is the only one who really cares if I die or not... Triston and Kyle could care less. Me ex wouldn't care either... But you wanna know what is funny? She says she "cared" about me and "loved" me and yes I did break up with her but the moment I did I knew it was a mistake so I tried to get her back the best I could... That didn't work out to well... But when my friend Kyle talked to her she said she could care less if I wanted her back or not... Yea so much she "cared" about me... I'm sick of all of it I am being dead serious too... It's so stupid that I could let her get to my head like that... It was an idiotic choice to DATE her in the first place! Yea I said it! I could care less about her anymore! I am done trying to fight for her back I am done trying for all of these things. I hate the way she treats me after we break up! Yea sure you can be mad but that doesn't mean you can go out and say "he is a worthless peice of S**T!" No that is so not cool... I hate that I let it get to the point where I actually did care for her and I actually did love her so much... B+L Hell no! She is just another LOSER at my school. Just like everyone thinks of everyone... I'm sure I have got to be the biggest loser in the world... For the way my school is making it seem... I find my school's drama so idiotic and immature. One thing get's said in the 8th grade hallway and it's down to the 6th grade hallway in about 30 minutes... It spreads like a disease that no one can get rid of... I'm done caring for Laurissa i'm so done with it... I tried and gave her a chance to be with me again because I wanted her back so bad... She was the one who originally like me in the first place so now that it is like this... I could care less and I'm done with her and I am done with girlfriends and I am done having just friends, I want good friends... Friends I can trust and play around with and have friendly conversations about bikes or something :) that would be the day I would want to live forever... For now I want to die and rot in hell, I hate my life... Like I said the only good people in it are Tyler, Maddi, Kyle, and Triston... Have a good day!

The New LIFE!

Ok I know I don't post on my blog which I probably have lost at least 50 of my viewers but life is hard you know what I mean? I can't constantly post on my blog everyday of every hour of every minute of every second, you know? Well lots of things have happened since I last posted. Of course the big one my grandma, I have gotten over it but not completely. I found a girl I liked right? But this is like a couple months passed me and vel. She was really cool you know but, if your coming off of TeaDawg17's blog, then you know who vel is from skinny (me) and vel. I really hate losing viewers but I try to keep on top of things. When I asked out this girl though, Maddi, I was completely in love. I risked getting my a** beat by my dad just to get my phone and talk to her. I put my heart out for her and cared for her. I even told her I would take a bullet for her if we were in that kind of situation. Guess what she tells my friend (Meana a girl I almost dated a while ago) Meana, she tells her that I'm very sweet and that SHE LIKES ME remember that. But get this, she tells Meana she doesn't want to date me, remember (SHE LIKES ME?) the last sentence. Well yea so now i'm to be honest like in complete depression you could say if you wanted to. I cared about her more than I cared about my own life! She was the girl of my dreams and then she goes and says this?! This was most likely the last girl I would ever ask out. I am not saying I'm to go full blown gay for all you idiots who think that! But she was my last hope of ever getting a girlfriend. I might talk to her tomorrow about it, but I might not considering I'm in full blown depression status over here. I guess you can say I'm funny cause I make my friends at my new school laugh, A LOT! It's so funny I'll make up the dumbest joke ever and they will laugh. I guess that's the only thing that is keeping me going from not talking to anyone or doing anything. Plus I wouldn't even be able to do that because I have grades I have to worry about. Once those grades come up I can finally talk to Maddi about why she likes me and thinks I'm sweet, but doesn't want to date? Well I'm glad I was able to get all of this off of my chest, because now I think my depression has gone away a little bit. Also if your one of those die hard Eminem fans, listen to one of my favorite songs by him. I'll give you a clue. "Yea, It's my life, my own words I guess. Have you ever loved someone so much you give an arm for. Not the expression. No. Literally give an arm for. When they know they're your heart and they you wear their armour. You will destroy anyone who would try to harm her!" Thanks for reading, SkinnyGuy1999

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Grandma

Hey everyone so as you can see by my title that this is about my grandma I call her gramzy cause I guess I gave her that nickname when I was younger. Well she has a bad cancer and it traveled around her body fast! Since it took a couple of days to get to her brain. She has a hard time remembering many things and it's hard on her family cause we are trying to take care of her but we all know she is gonna die very soon. But any one who are butt heads then leave now! This is my grandma we are talking about what would you do if I talked crap about your dying grandmother? Exactly you wouldn't like it either! So yea that's the story of my grandmother I will probably post about what happens later on. So don't keep your hopes up cause I might not.

Why can't she be with me?

Alright I don't usually speak about my feelings but with my girlfriend it's hard not to. I love her a lot like she means a lot more to me then anyone else I know and don't know, she know's how I feel about her and I know how she feels about me. So basically we are perfect for each other. Also if your coming from TeaDawg17's blog it's the same thing but I try not to be mean about it like he did. So if you don't want to hear about love and things like that then please leave cause that's just stupid to read a blog you don't want to read because of that. But like I said before it's not an easy thing multi-tasking the way I do I have to be there for my friend and hang out with my girlfriend worry about school and worry about my grandma (which she is going to die soon) all at the same time. Not very easy and then when I get on my blog I wont have the tolerance for someone's idiot actions! Please be respectful and kind to everyone you meet and please respect the way others and I feel. Have a good night and I will be posting 2 more new posts after this in a while. - Skinnyguy1999